


Lost Trembles

by LoveIsNotForSinners



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:22:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9376559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveIsNotForSinners/pseuds/LoveIsNotForSinners
Summary: After suffering a stroke, Stiles is out of work and not handling it as well as he pretends. His lovers know this they just don't know how to approach the sensitive subject. Established Derek/Lydia/Stiles





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back to college and away from home, so to start it out I'm posting something I wrote a while ago to make me feel like I'm doing something. Fair warning everything is based off of meeting a singular person who suffered a stroke and a quick research online without looking too far into much. So Poor Knowledge – Though please feel free to educate me! There are two more parts to this, I just don't know if I'll post them.  
> Also, I still suck at the monogamous relationship thing.

Lydia has had a really long day, filled with Allison coming in for the wedding, attempting to finish her project for class and trying to finish up her internship presentation that was to be presented in less than a week and wasn't done yet. The whole drive home she had told herself that she would get in the house and take a quick nap before letting her boyfriends calm her down, then she'd do work. It was Stiles' day to cook, though in reality she knew he took a lot of Derek's days the same way he did her days – with a big smile and a promise not to tell the other, then a soft kiss before shoving them out the door. It'd been a hard adjustment for them, a lot of stuff had but especially Stiles being out of work. That'd been hard from start to finish. She hadn't seen Derek that violent and angry since before they got together and she's certainly never seen Stiles that upset over something related to him. His face had been the same one whenever someone else was getting hurt, whenever someone he loved was in danger. It took weeks to talk about it. After these thoughts she didn't even want her nap. She changes the station as she curves down the street where their house was, refusing to listen to that trashy song that started to play – one she is sure Stiles shrieks with Scott when they drive. She wants to get home and see how Stiles is doing, it's something that eats at her while she's at work, she always wonders if Stiles is okay, if Stiles is breaking down or going crazy. She calls often enough to check on him and he always sounds fine but she never really believes it, she wants to be there for him. Three days wasn't enough but he refused to let them put their lives on hold. And like every morning thereafter, he forced them out of the house and to their daily lives. Scott came by a lot and the Sheriff and Deputy Parrish, the whole pack had made stops at first – all with different excuses. She pulls into the driveway and grabs her bag, looking at the clock. She was a little later than usual but she knew they'd both be there if the cars were any indication and the hour was anymore helpful. 

The door slid open easily to their three bedroom, two bathroom house. She could hear someone watering their yard and rolled her eyes as she placed her bag down, kicking off her heels. She couldn't wait to slip into a pair of sweats and let her hair out of the style she'd put it in but she hears the silence that she's used to entering which shifted to Derek's gruff and angry voice with Stiles' panicked and teary voice. She makes it to the downstairs bathroom and sees Derek glaring at Stiles on the phone while Stiles is leaned over the sink, apologizing. She takes one look at Derek and snorts at his hair. They look back at her.

“I ruined his hair!” Stiles says with wild eyes and Lydia covers her lips as she tilts her head, her look is much more fond than it would've been. Derek grunts out a goodbye to Erica and hangs up the cell clutched in his hand. 

“You didn't do anything unfixable Stiles.” She promises him and looks Derek in the eyes, raising a brow. Derek grumbles a bit but doesn't say any actual words. They'd promised not to treat Stiles differently but sometimes it got hard to not want to. It was like their hearts wanted to ease up but they knew Stiles would get pouty and scowly if they did so they tried not to. “Let me fix it.” She says, grabbing Derek's face to tilt his head down and observe the die Stiles had put in it. It should be an easier fix. “It's an easy fix.” 

“Yeah, it better be.” Derek finally speaks. “Cause if not, I have to go to a meeting looking like this.” 

“I said I was sorry!” Stiles whines out, pouting. 

“Don't pout.” Derek growls, his scowl faltering when he looks to his boyfriend and Lydia giggles a bit, pushing Stiles to sit on the tub while she brings Derek to the sink. She shoves his head down and can't help but glance back at Stiles in the mirror. The youngest has his hands outstretched in front of him, silently glaring at them as if they wouldn't work right. She doesn't know how to bring it up so she brings her eyes down to Derek and digs her nails into his scalp until he lets out a yelp, hissing at her as he swats at her hands. 

“Stiles, sweetheart, grab me a black cloth from the upstairs bathroom will you? I really don't want to stain the good ones.” Stiles gives her an affirmative and leaves them. “When did you get home?”

“A few hours before my shift ended.” Derek admits, guiltily biting his lip. “I told Stiles they let me go early.” So Derek does the same worrying she does but Derek is much closer and higher up in his job that he could get away with it here and there. 

“And you had him do your hair?” She asks, lifting an unamused brow. Derek gives a sigh and looks up to the ceiling. 

“We were talking about how it needed to be cut and dyed and that you were late and he looked so happy to do it, I couldn't exactly say no.” Derek admits, his hand twitching to run through his hair the way it does when he gets worried. “I should've I look ridiculous.” 

“You'll be fine in an hour.” She licks her lips. “He's glaring at his hands again.” She tells him and Derek frowns. “I'll fix your hair, we'll make dinner together and...I think we all have to talk for once.” Derek nods. “Now, sit still like a good boy and let me fix your hair.” She smiles at him when she hears Stiles running down the stairs handing her a rag and an old pullover that Stiles loves and refuses to get rid of. She quickly tugs it over her clothes and begins to get to work. 

“I will leave all things beauty to you.”

“It takes some time to get it down, why do you think Derek makes me do it?” Lydia replies, meeting Stiles' eyes in the mirror. Stiles quickly shoves his hands in his pocket. She hates when he starts his 'I hate you' routine with his hands. “You did better than I did my first time.”

“Yeah, right.” He scoffs at her, lips twitching up.

“I had one of those barbie makeup heads, my mother had to throw it out cause it terrified me, I've never seen a worse job.” Stiles chuckles a bit. “I'll have to find the pictures, I know my mom has at least one of my horrified face.” Stiles gives a one-sided shrug. 

“I shouldn't have tried.” He shakes his head. “I should, however, go get started on dinner.”

“No.” She whines back in her playful, teasing tone that he refuses sounds like him. “Stay, tell me about your day. It's the first time in months the three of us have been home to make dinner together so sit and talk.” He holds up his hands in mock innocence and sits down. “Did anyone come by?” 

“No, I talked with Mrs. Likoli next door before she took Poe for his walk, she offered to let me walk him.” Deaton had been the first to suggest animal therapy after the accident. He said it might help. Stiles had been so pissed at the time, he rolled his watery eyes and said he didn't want a pet before storming out of the vet's office and forcing Scott to drive him home, leaving his two lovers at the vet's office. Deaton was convinced they should still give it a try so the second they got home Derek shed his clothes and shifted, letting his wolf lead him up the stairs to a pouting Stiles who's lip was trembling with the urge to hold back his tears. He looks to the massive black wolf, tears in his eyes and frowned. Lydia remembers lying awake with Derek later as he told her how loose Stiles grip was, how shaky his hands were. It'd only been some progress, not nearly enough. “I didn't really care to, Poe likes me but...” He trails off and licks his lips as if omitting the truth. “I preferred a day in today.” Neither couple call him out on it. 

Stiles talks for most of the time, talking about his rather uneventful day. The two are happy enough to hear him not second guess himself on his words for a while, it was nice to hear him speak and not pause to correct himself. Sometimes he corrected himself without even needing to correct himself. He did it more often in front of the rest of the pack but sometimes he was so comfortable with them that he didn't mind stumbling over his words. When he'd first been told he might mess up his speaking he stopped speaking for a bit until he could figure out how to then he'd slur and stutter his words to Lydia and Derek. He'd get really frustrated and upset with himself until finally Derek and Lydia convinced him it didn't matter and he'd started to get better. He'd stop when he slurred of stuttered in front of the pack and purse his lips. Sometimes Derek or Lydia would squeeze his hand and sometimes he'd continue. Then he was almost perfect but he'd stop to double check himself and add in unnecessary corrections. It was better like this. 

Finally Derek's smiling at his reflection and Stiles is smiling up at him. Derek gives in and hugs the younger man, thanking him for trying before shoving the two younger lovers out of the bathroom to dinner because he was starving. It's easy to make a decision and get to cooking the chicken as they fell into a routine. Lydia took the chicken, Derek took mashed potatoes and Stiles decided to make carrots. He walks away, deciding to set the table and that's when it happens. The two jerk in their motions, snapping their head to a frozen Stiles when a plate crashes to the ground. His right hand is clenched in the air as his head is turned downwards toward it. 

“Stiles?” Lydia calls as Derek leaves to go grab the upset guys wrist, looking him over. Stiles' eyes meet his before he shakes his head and looks away, swallowing. 

“Sorry.” He mumbles. “I'll just...”

“Are you okay?” She questions, wrapping her arms around him the second she's close enough to. “Do you want to talk about it?” She knows the answer before the word no leaves his mouth and she feels Derek rest his head on Stiles' shoulder, the two of them holding him, hoping to encourage him to open up. It were moments like these, when he'd much rather pretend nothing happened than face it. He'd rather ignore it if he could. “Stiles, we haven't talked about it at all since the accident.” Not really, nothing beyond what happened and what they could do to try and help the issues. They never once talked about how he was feeling about it or what he wanted to do about it or what his thoughts were because they were too afraid to ask and he was too afraid to speak. His hand rubs at the back of her neck and he sighs, wiggling out of the space to sit down. “Please, talk to us, we can help.” She promises. He lifts his hand, it trembles in the air. 

“I can't go back until this stops and it's just been getting worse.” He admits, sniffing. “I don't even feel like much help with the pack anymore cause I can't steady my hand. I just want to go back to work already.” 

“Do you want to get out of the house?” She asks, frowning at him.

“Yes but I want to do my job. I'm still not supposed to drive for a long time so I can't even do traffic stops.” He sniffs again and swallows back the tears. Derek sits next to him and grabs his hand, stopping the shaking by holding it still. “I'm not much without my job.”

“You're everything you were before you had to take leave.” Lydia tells him, grabbing his other hand. She feels it, the same shaking the two are too familiar with, that they wish they could stop but were wise enough to know it wouldn't go away that easy. “Look, sitting around the house all day probably isn't helping.” She tells him. “Why don't you take some classes at the community college? You'll have something to do and it'll help and you'll meet some new people, I think it'd be good for you.” Stiles looks at her and he swallows, she presses her lips to his softly. “You'll be okay, Stiles.” She promises and he gives a small nod. Derek leans forward, muttering in agreement and kissing Stiles' jaw, bumping his head with his nose. 

“We'll be right here for you through it all.” Derek promises for the second time and Stiles just smiles softly, before hiding his face in Derek's hair and sobbing. Lydia slides forward to lean her body into Stiles' offering as much comfort as she possibly could. They would make it through


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, this happened somehow. Derek's a full wolf in this. Again, poor medical knowledge (it irks my insides). There may or may not be another part to this.

Derek doesn't see it as much, as the time passed by, he notices it only when Stiles thinks they're not looking and even more when something happens that triggers him to hate it. He watches his boyfriend sometimes when he does it, watches the human glare at his hands or stare at them and turn them. He hates watching that, hates realizing the boy feels useless. He hates that his lover won't tell them when he feels like that. His drives home are usually fast, never much traffic because he leaves early most of the time now to see Stiles. Ever since Stiles signed up for some classes at the local community college, Derek and Lydia have been basically racing to be the first one home and have dinner on the table. But most of the time Stiles gets there first and has already started on dinner. It'd done some good for him, two weeks into it Derek came home to find Stiles with the radio on, making a dinner and dancing his way to each place, signing along to the song. It was probably one of the best sights he'd seen in a while. 

Today, he enters the house and makes his way to the kitchen. He pauses and leans against the door frame, staring at Stiles. Stiles has his books spread out on the table and Derek can smell the ribs. The youngest lover isn't writing but instead, staring at his hands as if in deep thought. He's not really glaring at them, more perplexed by them. Derek takes in the look for a few minutes before striding over and pinning them to the table, leaning down when Stiles looks up. Stiles smiles softly at him. 

“What are you making?” 

“We got out early, I'm making braised short ribs. They've got like an hour and a half.” Stiles tells him and Derek smiles, looking down to the papers. 

“What're you working on?” 

“Writing.” Stiles says, pursing his lips to one side. Derek uses his foot to drag a chair closer, sitting across from Stiles, who glances at the book in from of him. “But that's math, this is writing.” He points to the paper with a few words scribbled on them. Derek snatches his hands again and pulls Stiles closer, kissing him. Stiles smiles against his lips, pulling away for a second before coming in for a peck and making Derek chase him when he pulls again. Derek can feel the heart rate calm down under his fingertips and pulls away. 

“Why were you giving them that face?” He asks. Stiles looks at him for a second before licking his lips. Derek sighs. “You've to talk to someone, it's not like they've done anything to deserve your mistreatment.” Stiles let's out a laugh. 

“Some girl tried to give me a protein bar because I was shaking so hard she thought I hadn't eaten.” Derek frowns. “She's young, fresh out of high school. I thanked her but told her it was cause I had a stroke.” Stiles licks his top back teeth and then bites down on his tongue. 

“It upset you?” 

“At first,” Stiles admits. “I hate talking about it, do you know this girl stared at me in awe when I explained to her I couldn't talk or read or write for a while after.” He gives half a shrug. “Told her it came with the territory and she was amazed I was trying to force it back to it's starting point, said you couldn't even tell.” Stiles wraps his fingers around Derek's and stares at him.

“That's cause you can't. Lydia and I have been trying to tell you this forever.” Stiles tilts his head, his smile falling a bit. “You're okay, Stiles, you'll be back in no time.” Stiles looks away before letting his eyes come back. “And we're both right here, you can talk to us about it, you're supposed to.” Derek lifts a hand to cup Stiles' jaw and swipe his thumb over the younger man's cheek. “Aren't you always the one forcing us to talk about our feelings?” 

“I'm scared.” Stiles says, biting his lip. “I've never been scared like this for myself, even when the nogitsune made it seem like I had dementia. Then I was scared for my dad and Scott but now...” Derek's eyes flicker between Stiles as the boy pauses, searching for words. It's a brief silence where Derek can feel the tick of his heart speed up. “what happens next time?”

“You're afraid of it happening again?” 

“It's really likely. And if I can barely bounce back from this one-”

“Barely? Stiles you're almost perfect, you've made amazing progress, you have to see that.” Stiles licks his lips, inhaling slowly. “And your doctors given you everything to prevent a second one and you'd bounce back from that too. You could bounce back from death.” Stiles snorts and Derek squeezes the hands in his. “If you're that scared, why don't you have Scott b-”

“I don't think I want to be a werewolf.” Derek nods, looking down. This was something they hadn't touched on since high school. It was accepted Stiles wouldn't be a werewolf anytime soon but Scott had never brought it up since then. Now almost four years later no one knew what Stiles wanted. No one had wanted to really think about Stiles dying and even when he came close, they still didn't bring it up. “If...if I had another one I'd want him to.” Derek nods again and Stiles swallows. “I wouldn't want to leave you while knowing there was something I could've done.” 

“I think you'll be okay. I mean, you've almost got a 4.0 which is phenomenal for the amount Lydia and I bother you.” Stiles laughs and leans close to Derek, pressing a kiss to the side of the man's mouth. “You make your choices and I promise, for the most part, Lydia and I will support you and help you though it all. Hell, you want to graduate college again and move to New York, I've got like six contacts who would sell me houses everywhere.” 

“And Lydia would kill you because she hasn't finished he Master's yet.” 

“I didn't think of that, don't tell Lydia.” Stiles smiles and lets out an exhale resting his forehead onto Derek's shoulder. Derek tucks his cheek onto the boys hair and Stiles turns his head so Derek can feel the man's breath on his neck. He can feel the rushing of Stiles heart but doesn't speak, he waits with closed eyes. 

“Derek.” Stiles whispers. 

“Yeah, babe?” 

“Can I cuddle you?” Derek smiles and laughs, nodding against Stiles head. “I don't want a pet, we can't take care of a pet but...” 

“You've got me.” Derek tilts his head up. “You don't need a pet when you've a full wolf in your house.” Stiles smiles at him widely and Derek can't help but beam back, standing and helping the brunette up. “You've an alarm set.” Stiles grabs his phone and gives a nod, lifting it to face the werewolf as if to prove his affirmative response. “Where do you want me? The couch or the bedroom?” 

“I always want you in the bedroom but it's too far away.” Derek laughs and lets Stiles lead the way, leaving a trail of clothes to shift for his boyfriend who lets out the happiest of hums. He settles against Stiles and listens to the boys heart rate. He can't help but notice the small tremor, much less than the last time the human had allowed this. He can feel Stiles' breath, wonders what else he can do to help. Right now, with Stiles dragging his finger through his fur, Derek thinks this is enough. “Sometimes I think I'm okay and I'll be fine like you all say but then I think one of us has to be realistic and I get really worried. We've never gotten a break, you know? Since everything happened? Hell even before, have you ever looked at our lives and thought, that's a life someone would be proud to have, I mean our character might be bragworthy but our life? No one goes that's the life I want to lead. So why would it start now?” Derek nuzzles his shoulder, nosing at him. Stiles huffs out a breath against him and tightens his grip temporarily. “I just don't wanna be let down, I wanna be prepared, we're never prepared anymore.” Derek lets out a noise and Stiles smiles, hiding his face against the fur. “I love you.”

**

Derek hears the door open and Lydia's heels click through the hall before her bare feet pad across the floor to the kitchen. He stays on Stiles, listening to her look through his papers before letting out a hum. He hears her follow his clothes path to the couch and she looks over the edge of the couch before smiling. He looks up at her, trying not to wake the boy under him and she just smiles at them. She lets her hand pet behind Derek's ear. 

“Evening babe.” she whispers. She nods towards the sleeping human. “Is he okay?” Derek lets out a rumble. He wishes he could tell her everything that Stiles said and knows soon he will but for now he just wants Stiles to sleep. He wants Stiles to wake up with a positive attitude and realize he's safe now. “What's he gonna burn in the oven?” Derek huffs at her and she laughs at him. She walks around and kneels near Stiles head, pressing a soft kiss to his head. He makes a little noise and shifts under Derek, Derek stays still and waits for him to calm back to sleep. Derek looks to Lydia who picks up Stiles phone, unlocking it to take a selfie of the three of them and set it as his wallpaper. “He's doing good with school, I just took a glance.” Derek bats her with a paw. “I like that he's not alone here anymore.” He lets out another noise. 

That had bothered him so much, knowing that his lover was here alone while going out of his mind. He'd call every free minute to see how the boy was doing and while the phone portrayed a story of fine Derek never believed it. He wanted to come home and hold Stiles, make sure the boy was safe and okay and happy. Knowing he was okay and out made Derek happier, especially when Stiles talked about the kids he met. They were so nice. Derek noses at Lydia's neck and the woman leans back to swat at him before petting his muzzle. 

“Did you attack him?” Derek gives the best head shake he can manage. “He asked?” Derek lets out a grumble. “Good.” She breathes out with a smile, pressing a kiss to Derek's nose. “We'd be shit pet owners anyway.” Derek lets out his best laugh as a wolf and Lydia smiles at him. “We should record you one day, we'd have a viral hit in minutes.” Her smile lasts for a few minutes before it falls and she looks to the sleeping human. “Never tell him he's rubbed off on me this much.” Derek lays his head on Stiles and she smiles taking a picture and startling when it screeches at her. Stiles jerks under Derek, one hand snapping out to reach for the phone, Lydia ducking just in time to miss the hit. Derek presses his paws to Stiles and growls, getting an instant reaction. The man wraps his fingers back in Derek's fur and calms. Lydia silences the alarm and Stiles blinks his eyes open to look at Derek then looks at Lydia. 

“Hi.” He smiles and she kisses him softly. He rubs Derek's side in thanks and lifts his head to hide it in the wolf's chest. “Thank you.” He murmurs, ignoring the pictures that Lydia takes. “I gotta get dinner out. You gotta get dressed. It's gotta cool for 20 minutes so maybe you should just stay like this and let me go back to sleep.” 

“Want me to take it out?” Lydia asks. “I'll come join you after I do. Is there anything on the table I should keep separate.” 

“You don't hav-” 

“You keep making dinner, the least I can do is clean up and take it out to let you sleep.” Stiles looks to her, releasing one hand to pull her in for a kiss. She pulls him closer and then pulls away. “So curl up with Wolfie here and I'll be back in five, make room.” 

“I love you.” Stiles tells her and she echoes it back, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I love you too.” Derek pushes Stiles back to the couch and lets the human roll towards the edge, making room for Lydia. Derek presses his nose to Stiles' cheek. Stiles tilts his head and smiles. “Yeah, big guy, I feel better.” He whispers and Derek takes that time to observe how still Stiles' hands were against his back. He smiles down at him and Stiles laughs. “God, I could make so much money off photos of you, you've to let me.” Derek huffs. The human closes his eyes. It isn't long until Lydia settles next to him and Derek pins them both to the couch so that they wouldn't fall off and Lydia tightens her grip around Stiles who quickly drifts off between them. Derek can't help but admire how perfect they are under him and ducks his head onto them. He could spend his whole life like this.


End file.
